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The Pick
of the Litter:
Books for New & Expectant Parents
Reviewed by
Melanie Lawrence
Copyright 2003-4
by Parents' Press
February 2004 Reviews
Do I Want to Be a Mom? A Woman's Guide
to the Decision of a Lifetime by
Diana L. Dell, M.D., & Suzan Erem (Contemporary Books/McGraw
Hill, 2003, 232 pp., $14.95)
At last, a bombastic subtitle that's
actually true: children are the principal decision of anyone's
lifetime. Dell and Erem's pragmatic guide examines the whole
range of reasons for and concerns behind that choice: I have
the ability to create life. I have so much love to give. (And
the authors include the ways in which these reasons can change
as a woman matures.) Will I get enough sleep? What if I'm not
happy right away? Will I like my child? Will my child like me?
Will I regret it if I don't have children?
Dr. Dell, trained in both obstetrics/gynecology
and psychiatry (and now with Duke University Medical Center),
and her co-author, writer Suzan Erem, have also gathered anecdotes
and advice from dozens of women: "Wait, wait, wait, until
you are secure in yourself, until you have something to give
that child....You have to have the confidence to know you will
give what you must to your children." Amen.
Birthing: Choices You Have to Create
the Best Birth Experience for You and Your Child by Irene Byrne (Pince-Nez Press, 2003, 222 pp.,
$19.95)
Another book about choice, Birthing, by San
Francisco preschool director Byrne, sets out current information
from childbirth experts in clear, organized prose, beginning
with ten basic questions to ask when interviewing birth services
to determine whether they're both baby- and mother-friendly.
From there on, it's questions and information
to help you make your decisions. Would you benefit from attendance
by a physician, midwife, or doula, or perhaps a combination?
What about birth techniques? Lamaze, the Bradley method, waterbirth,
or HypnoBirthing™? Do you want to deliver your child in
a hospital, a birthing center, or at home?
It doesn't stop there, of course; there's
still the matter of preparing a birth plan and educating yourself
about drugs and other interventions, not to mention labor management.
Throughout, Byrne emphasizes the need for flexibility, the better
to focus on your goal: delivering a healthy baby.
How to Photograph Your Baby's First
Year by Laurie White Hayball &
David Hayball (Amherst Media, 2003, 112 pp., $14.95)
For the exhausted new parent, especially
those of us who are technically and/or aesthetically challenged,
this hands-on little manual is heaven-sent. The introduction
offers quick, sensible pointers about choosing a camera and lens,
but the book's core is styles of portraiture and infant milestones,
from the first day home to the first birthday.
The Hayballs' teaching method is ingenious:
Photo shoots are broken down into simple "recipes"
(such as a child's first portrait), with ingredients baby,
flowers, blanket, table or floor and a few steps whose
result, in this case, is a classically composed still life of
your child (a concept which also allows her to sleep through
the process if necessary).
Tips round out the recipe: Turn your
flash off for a softer look. Wood floors and furniture help to
reflect warm light onto your subject.
Who knows, after testing a few such
recipes, you may find yourself with a photo album to be proud
of.
Choosing Childcare for Dummies by Ann Douglas (Wiley, 2004, 333 pp., $19.99)
I must confess to a mild bias against
the Dummies series, but Ann Douglas's name was reassurance that
this book would be a reliable resource. The prolific Douglas, Parents' Press contributor
and author of The Mother of All
Pregnancy Books, is her usual comprehensive
self here; no detail appears to escape her eye and word processor
as she explains how to research and evaluate what kind of kid
care will work best for you and your family.
Be forewarned: It's not a quick and
easy task. Before they even make one phone call, parents must
decide what constitutes quality childcare, weigh the pros and
cons of different options, and learn how to cut costs with tax
credits and subsidies, all of which Douglas explains, along with
finding a nanny, assessing preschools, and arranging for back-up
care before it's needed. A nifty touch: perforated cheat sheets
of questions to ask day care directors, family caregivers, and
prospective nannies; as well as factors to keep in mind when
visiting daycare centers.
In other words, CCFD is one helpful
manual. Consider yourself smart if you check out this particular
Dummy.
February 2003 Reviews
Baby Be Loved: Growing and Learning
Together During the First 24 Weeks by
Susan Ann Stelfox; illustrations by Joel Dugan (Mason Publishing,
2002, 50 pp., $24.95).
Don't be put off the juxtaposition of
scant pages and high price; Baby Be Loved's big, glossy hanging-calendar
format is packed with week-by-week information that's easy to
read and absorb, even in your giddiest postpartum mood. Is your
child six weeks old? Flip the page over from Week Five to a cool
black-and-white design your baby can peruse while you take in
some new facts about feeding and also learn a way to exercise
those growing legs, as well as a song to entertain you both.
It all adds up to a nice blend of developmental material and
activities the two of you can bond over.
The Mother's Book of Well-Being by Lisa Groen Braner (Conari Press, 2002, 180
pp., $15.95)
Journalist Lisa Groen Braner also takes
a week-by-week format in this charming bedside book. Each week
brings an essay or a meditation on a surprising range of topics:
the necessity of accepting and asking for help, finding time
to enjoy solitude, the importance of staying in the present moment
as you learn to know and love your child, "the lure of efficiency."
("Are your expectations for efficiency realistic? What's
fueling them?") Throughout, she gently reminds and reiterates
that not only have you helped create a new life, you also have
the opportunity of recreating yourself: what she deems "a
mother of your own design."
Bouncing Back After Your Pregnancy by Glade B. Curtis, M.D., and Judith Schuler,
M.S. (Perseus Publishing, 2002, 174 pp., $14)
Like Curtis and Schuler's popular Your Pregnancy Week by Week
series, this one's simple and to the point. They start off with
a nifty "recovery overview" checklist for the first
year to help you ensure the whole family stays safe, sane, and
organized. Reminders about your own care are included on almost
every page, and whole chapters devoted to the basics of life
with a new baby: how to feed the kid, how to feed yourself, new-mom
fitness, learning to become a family, parenting together, returning
to work, and planning and preparing for another pregnancy. A
bonus: the many highlighted "fast facts" helpful
and sometimes startling, especially for the first-time parent.
(Yes, a newborn does need up to 100 diapers the first week.)
Mother Nurture
by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Jan Hanson, L.Ac., & Ricki Pollycove,
M.D. (Penguin Putnam, 2002, 372 pp., $15)
It cannot be said or written (or thought)
too many times: the better care you take of yourself, the better
mother you'll be. Mother Nurture is an eloquent testimonial to
this simple yet difficult truth. Hanson, Hanson, and Pollycove,
all San Francisco Bay Area health practitioners, take the holistic
route, linking the effects of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum
to the whole woman her mind, body, and relationships. What
the authors call "depleted mother syndrome" they believe
can be turned around by sensible health habits, stress relief,
"transforming painful emotions," and learning better
communication with one's partner. The advice isn't new, but the
writers' practical wisdom and sensitivity are exceptional.
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